Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
