Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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