my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
