I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
