we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize