There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
