Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This house was built for laser tag.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
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