In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
