Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
