is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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