She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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