that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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