Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
