just come out here and I will go home with you...
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
there was a trapeze. enough said
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
