Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
