I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
