i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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