he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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