they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
