the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize