The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
