ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
