The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
