Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
