Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize