I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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