Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
