Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
