I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Actions speak louder than pants.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
