My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize