I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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