So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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