Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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