Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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