I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
