you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
