Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
