Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
