What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
