That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
