i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
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I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
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I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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