last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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