why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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