I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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