he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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