Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I party with great urgency now.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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