the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
