Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
