What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
