guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize