Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
