and i looked up. we had an audience...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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