GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
