also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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