just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
