Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize