Betty ford says i'm here all night
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
only if we run a train.
done.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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