Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We named our party play list daddy issues
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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